Dodge Ball

Manny being Manny just took itself to an entirely different level. Stop smiling Red Sox fans, because this can and will taint the stuff he did while you were cheering for him hitting ball after ball off of and over the monster. Stop shaking your heads, yes it does. If Alex Rodriguez gets dragged through the mud, so does your former beloved “idiot” Manny. How far does it go back? Yes I know he said he passed 15 drug tests, but he failed this one. If it opens the floodgates for everyone else, it opens the floodgates for him. Last time I checked, A-Rod just admitted it and is trying to better himself and get his career back on track.

Please stop, by the way, with the smoke screen of the test being because of a prescription handed out by a doctor. So basically what you’re telling me is, you are going to ingest something into your system which your doctor should tell you could show up on a drug test. If in fact it was a doctor he or she did go to school for what, 10 years? You’re going to sit there with a straight face and tell me you didn’t know it may show up on a test? Yet you don’t tell your team, or Major League baseball, that you’re having a personal issue and you were prescribed “X” and if you get tested it may show up on said test? I don’t care if you have the common cold, or swine flu, if you get a prescription from a doctor, in this culture we’re in, you have to bring it up and ask if its going to show up on a test.

It makes me want to throw up as a baseball fan. In fact, I think I just did throw up a little bit in my mouth. Could we just get mandatory drug testing in baseball please? Every week…every player…the whole season…Players union? Anyone? Bueller?

They will never agree to that. So guess what fans? We will never have an end to this. Where are my antacids?

We Want Torre?

torre_250_050609.jpg

And you were worried about swine flu? I’d be more worried that JJD is spreading at an alarming rate and it affected all those in attendance at the Yankees’ latest loss to the Red Sox.

Fans were chanting, “We Want Torre?”

Really?! You really think this has to do with the manager? You really think Joba Chamberlain going out and giving up four runs in the first inning (even though he rebounded for a strong finish the damage was already done) had nothing to do with the Yankees latest loss? You really think Jorge Posada being on the DL had nothing to do with the Yankees latest loss? You really think not having A-Rod has nothing to do with the Yankees getting out to a mediocre start? You really think Chien-Ming Wang basically forgetting how to pitch has nothing to do with the Yankees and the position they’re in right now? You really think the bullpen instead of being a bridge to Mariano Rivera is The Bridge on the River Kwai after the explosion has nothing to do with the Yankees being 500 after 26 games? You really think Mark Teixeira’s slump, hitting out of the three hole, has nothing to do with the Yankees not being able to stay consistent? Really?!  

The Bombers are now 0-5 against their arch rivals (which is more fan driven now, the players are too huggy kissy for me these days). Their record matches the Munsters’ address number, 13-13, and there seems to be just a general malaise floating through the air.
 
And you know what that general malaise is called boys and girls. Yup I am going back to the well until its bone dry. You can all say it with me, Janet Jackson Disease.

While the only cure for Bruce Dickinson’s fever was more cowbell, the only cure for the spread of JJD is, quite simply, winning.

Seriously though people, you want Joe Torre back? The same Joe Torre most of you wanted out of here? The same Joe Torre that you were fed up and disgusted with? This is why the city of New York will always be single. It’s impossible to be in a relationship with this place. It falls out of love too damn fast.

No one is more prepared, and no one gives more attention to detail than Joe Girardi. Who, by the way, is a former Manager of the Year…with the Florida Marlins. Just chill out, we haven’t even played a quarter of the season yet and the Yankees haven’t had their full team on the field once.

For some comic relief and to ease your Yankees tension check this out it always makes me laugh…RIP Dom DeLuise.

 

Posada – AROD Update

Listening to Joe Girardi’s press conference. Jorge will be out for two to three weeks with a strained right hamstring. Francisco Cervelli was called up. He will back up Jose Molina.  Alex Rodriguez went 3-for-6 with two home runs in an extended Spring Training game today. 

Passing of a Legend

delouise_230_050509.jpg

I’m sitting in my office watching our “live shot” of Yankee Stadium. The tarp is on the field, and our crew has some Hendrix playing over the shot. Cool stuff, but ‘m a little in the dumps today. Why? Well the Yankees just lost their fourth straight game to the Red Sox last night. Jorge Posada needs an MRI on his hamstring and the Bombers have to face Josh Beckett tonight.

I have to be honest, the thing that has me bumming the most though is the passing of Dom DeLuise. My siblings and cousins can communicate with each other just through lines from his movies. If any of us were ever in a sour mood, all someone would have to do is say, “Treasure..bathtub, I’m going to take a TREASURE BATH! TREASURE BATH!” “Here, wash this!” Or maybe his entrance into a room as Captain Chaos (who he simply called, HIM) would bring one of my family members out of the doldrums.

I just know he brought a ton of laughter to me and my entire family for decades, and he will for decades to come. If you knew of him do yourselves a favor and pass on his memory to a new generation. I know I will. His credits are endless, and his humor is timeless.

Preaching from the pulpit on a Sunday

I don’t know if I’m the only one who thinks this way, but enough is enough with the whole Alex Rodriguez thing. Secretariat died nearly 20 years ago, and the last time I checked no one was still beating him to death. However, I have a feeling A-Rod and his various transgressions will be billy clubbed ad nauseum for the test of time because it sells papers and it will sell books apparently.

I, on the other hand, will not be partaking in the drivel that Selena Roberts has penned. I give her a TON of journalistic credit for being able to get Rodriguez’ name out of the 104 that tested positive for performance enhancers back in 2003. It turned the baseball world upside down, because Rodriguez was supposed to be the poster boy for clean players, and he was supposed to take us all away from the specter of steroids.

Some of the other stuff she is writing about though in her book we already knew and shouldn’t come as a surprise. She isn’t really breaking any news here. Although if you watch any of the news networks, news breaks and apparently its breaking all day.  One of my pet peeves.  If it breaks at 10 a.m., its not still breaking at 4pm. That drives me absolutely nuts.  Sorry for the sidebar.

Okay so here are some of her gems from the book, which I saw today via the New York Post.  A-Rod visits strip clubs, A-Rod is insecure, A-Rod is in constant competition with Derek Jeter, A-Rod bragged to teammates about being with Madonna, and A-Rod ALLEGEDLY took steroids in high school.

A ball player in a strip club? Wow!  I’m shocked!  He wore a Yankee hat to scream look at me?!  Again, “Elizabeth, it’s the big one!  I’m comin!” You think Alex Rodriguez isn’t going to be recognized if he wears a cowboy hat? A-Rod is insecure? That’s a newsflash, aren’t we all a little insecure? He’s in constant competition with Derek Jeter? You don’t say!  Wouldn’t you want to measure up to what Jeter has accomplished? A-Rod bragged to his teammates about dating Madonna? Is she 50, yes, but as one of my friends told me,”It’s still freakin Madonna!” Finally, A-Rod ALLEGEDLY took steroids in high school?  No concrete evidence to go on, yet it was still printed.  That is NOT journalism.   

That IS National Enquirer type stuff and I leave that stuff to the same people that read that garbage. I can care less if Brittany Spears held her baby while driving her car. I could care less if Kirstie Alley is 80 pounds overweight. I won’t lose any sleep if Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are on the rocks, or if Brangelina got into a fight about having their 20th kid.  I’m not going to sit at home on my weekend off and worry about millionaires in Hollywood with their goofy little problems, or how Alex Rodriguez was in a strip club in Dallas with a Yankee hat on. 

A-Rod had a press conference, he apologized for using performance enhancers, and he is working with Don Hooton’s foundation. Hooton’s 17 year old son Taylor’s steroid use led to his suicide. 

Is Alex Rodriguez perfect?  Are you perfect?  Let he who hath not sinned, cast the first stone. Put it down, and walk away.

A foul, is a foul, is a foul

Driving into work today I heard this ridiculous argument on sports talk radio…it took everything in my power to not pick up the phone and go on a Shearn soap box 20-minute rant without a breath.

Here was the stupidity: “You can’t call a foul with .2 seconds left when it will impact the outcome of the game.” Hmm…interesting…so the same foul you call at 10:48 left in the first quarter, can’t be a foul when the game is on the line? So you can basically play rough house with under 10 seconds to go? You can basically pick up a player driving down the lane, throw them off the ropes into a suplex and nothing should be called.

Did you hear that?! That’s the asinine alert going off! Fouls are the problem in the NBA. It’s why college basketball is so much more watchable than the pro game. You have a flow in college. The play is up and down. Sure, there are fouls called in college games, but for the most part the officials let them play.

The NBA on the other hand, is up the floor foul, down the floor foul, up the floor foul, down the floor foul. Don’t breathe on Kobe or LeBron either. If your breath is kickin’ like Bruce Lee, and you breathe in Kobe or LeBron’s general direction, its a foul. You may even get a technical. It’s kind of like when the army jeep hits the Pinto in the movie, “Top Secret.” It barely taps the back bumper and makes a little “ting” noise, and the Pinto explodes. For those of you too young to remember a Pinto, it was a Ford model that was said to blow up in rear end collisions.

ANYWAY! My point is if it’s a foul with 9:37 left in the second quarter, then it should jolly well be a foul with five seconds left in the fourth quarter or double overtime.

Phil Hughes Huge, Wade Redden Small

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the time of new beginnings, it was the beginning of a season of tee times.

Tuesday April 28, 2009 was the best of times and the worst of times for Chris Shearn.

Tonight I saw the best of Phil Hughes, back from the Minors and dealing like he was trained at the best blackjack table in Vegas. He was like the Tigers roach motel. Detroit hitters came up, and immediately sat down. The ones that did reach base were left stranded like the Skipper and Gilligan. I would have given a Lost reference, but I don’t watch it, so I had to go way back.

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale a tale of a faithful trip. That started from Scranton/Wilkes Barre, aboard the Yanks Triple-A ship.

Yes a stretch, but its almost 11 o’clock and I’m getting a little loopy. What a performance by Hughes. Six innings, two hits, no runs, two walks and six strikeouts. A scoreless game until the seventh inning, when the Bombers put up a 10-spot highlighted by a grand slam off the bat of Jose Molina. Another solid inning out of Mark Melancon…can you say Melancon/Chamberlain/Rivera to close games? Sorry Joba, if Phil continues to pitch like this, and Wang comes off the DL and returns to form, you should be headed back to your strength – the pen – which in this case is mightier than the start.

Now I know none of you probably care about hockey, but I do so I am going to rant a little bit. Should the Rangers even have been in a Game 7 with the likes of the Washington Capitals…NO! Should the Rangers been in a tight game seven with the Washington Capitals…NO! Were they though? YES!

Rangers fans, how many games has Wade Redden come up small in this year? Plenty! So should it come as a huge shock that Redden skated on the back of his heels when Sergei Federov was winding up to take the game-winning slap shot past Henrik Lundqvist?

Not only did Redden not take the body. Not only did Redden not attempt a poke check. Redden acted as a screen on his own goaltender who stood on his head the entire game and deserved better than to have an awful worthless defenseman get in the way of the Rangers headed to the second round. There I said it. Now maybe I can sleep a little better tonight. The Yankees win helps, but Redden is on my list. If I were the Rangers organization, as he was shaking hands, his uniform would have been taken off and he would have been cut right there on the spot. He is garbage. Not just ordinary garbage, he’s garbage that’s been sitting in a landfill for months, that smells worse than anything you have ever smelled in your life.

Okay, I’m done. I am going to take a couple of Gaviscon and call it a night. No Sports Sprint tomorrow, but I will see you for BP tomorrow night at 6 p.m. ET on YES!

Remember Newman on Seinfeld and how he loathed Keith Hernandez…I looooooooathe you Wade Redden.

I’ll take the Yankees and Forrest Gump for $1000, Alex

The answer is, “The quote from the movie that most represents the 2009 Yankees so far.” Ooh, ooh, I know this! What is, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.” Mama always said it about life, and now I am saying it about these Yankees.

From the lineup, to the bullpen, to the starters, I don’t know if I’m getting butter cream, peanut butter, or coconut filling. I hate coconut filling by the way. And, lately, the Yankees are giving me plenty of coconut.

The losing streak is now at four. Chien-Ming Wang is on the DL with a hip flexor issue, (hip flexor issue in this case means he’s out of options, couldn’t send him down to Triple A) and has an ERA over 34. CC Sabathia was supposed to come in here and be a shut-down ace, injecting CC’s of 0’s and K’s into opposing lineups. Still waiting for that to happen. Yes, I’m aware of what he did last year with the Indians and the Brewers. He was 12-0 over 18 starts last June 10th through September 10th. But, CC, “What have you done for me lately? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah.” Janet Jackson Disease (JJD) is very catchy and I think I am coming down with it. Everyone is worried about Swine Flu now, but JJD is what I am worried about catching.

Sabathia pitched well enough to win last night, but either Justin Verlander miraculously remembered how to pitch, or the Yankees forgot how to hit.

A.J. Burnett has been OK, but, in his last start, the Yankees had a 6-0 lead on Josh Beckett, and they couldn’t hold on. Unfortunately, that’s what sticks in your head. Big time symptom of JJD. You’re only as good as your last start or your last at-bat.

Joba Chamberlain’s days as a starter should be numbered. I’m Maverick here and I am calling the ball — especially if Phil Hughes can make an instant impact. Hughes has been lights out at Triple-A Scranton/Wilkes-Barre (three wins, 19.1 IP, 1.86 ERA 19K, 3 BB), and tonight he gets the start against the Tigers.

I may be getting ahead of myself with Mark Melancon, but with Brian Bruney being on the shelf, the bridge to Mariano would be a lot sturdier if it went Melancon, Chamberlain, Rivera.  John Flaherty told me in Flash Forward this week that the Yankees were forced to bring Melancon up a little early, but to be put in at Fenway Park in front of a national television audience, and to do what he was able to do was impressive. (You can catch the entire Flash Forward in the video section of YESnetwork.com.)

As far as the hitting goes, Robinson Cano has really been the only consistent plate performer. The Yankees second baseman is the only one hitting over .300. Nick Swisher has cooled off, and Brett Gardner and Mark Teixeira are both hitting .220. There is some good news, though.  Alex Rodriguez took live batting practice down in Tampa today, and you will see the video on Yankees Batting Practice Today at 6 p.m. ET on YES.

I know its “still early” in this 2009 season, but when does it start to get late? Yogi Berra said it the best, “It gets late awfully early around here.” He was commenting on the adverse sun conditions in left field at the old stadium. His quote, however, will stand the test of time to the spreading disease that is Janet Jackson. Nineteen games in, I’m already suffering from the symptoms. However, I promise … no, I guarantee … no wardrobe malfunctions will occur on the set.  

Saturday hangover

youkilis250_042509.jpg

Is it me or do all Yankee fans feel like they were on a Patron Silver bender last night and are suffering from the worst headache you could think of this morning?

Pick a team. Any team. Except the Red Sox. Arguably the best closer in the history of baseball gave up a two-run lead in the bottom of the ninth with two outs. He’s human. It happens. However, the way the Yankees lost last night is just a hard pill to swallow. If it was any other team, it would be a tough loss, but it would easier to deal with today.

The Yankees are probably the only team that makes me lose sleep. I will lay in bed after a loss like that and try to figure out a way they could have and should have won. Tossing and turning, turning and tossing, tossing and turning all night.

Eventually I will get to sleep and dream about the end of the game, and the dream will be so vivid, so real, that I wake up thinking that my dream was the ACTUAL outcome of the game. Obsessed much? Who me? Yes, yes, I am. I can’t help it. It’s the way I’ve always been, much to my wife’s chagrin.

It’s how I am in every aspect of my life. I hate to lose and I hate when my team loses.  Speaking of how I am in my life, I hate making mistakes. I’ll be the first one to admit it. I am by no means perfect. Another glaring example of me and my foot in mouth disease happened last night on “Yankees Batting Practice Today.” I incorrectly stated that Johnny Damon would be the only lefty to face Jon Lester. Well, unless Robinson Cano learned how to hit right handed in the Yankees off day, I was sadly mistaken. That is also the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night. I want to do the best job possible for the fans watching these shows. I want to get you ready for your night of Yankee baseball. When I do something like that it’s inexcusable, and I apologize. Apparently I don’t know how to dress either (see the Blob).

I admit I am not GQ. Never have been. Never will be. That’s not my thing, obviously. I like being a little different. I like being a little colorful. My outfit may have been a little out there when I did my Time Out during the Mike Francesa show, but Blob, have you seen Craig Sager?

Last night my fandom took a BIG hit. The Rangers got blanked down in D.C., and the Yankees, well, we know what happened. Thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach, but, today is a new day, right!?

Oh yeah, wait a minute. It’s a new day without Brian Bruney and Cody Ransom, and the Yankees have to face Josh Beckett. Maybe I’ll go back to sleep and dream the outcome.  At least I can fool myself into thinking they got a win. Wake me up tomorrow before Sunday Night Baseball. Oh wait, I can’t go to sleep. I have to see who the Giants take in the draft.    

New stadium nickname contest

Hey everyone! We here at YESNetwork.com would like to start a little contest to see who can come up with the best nickname for the new Yankee Stadium. The winner will walk away … drum roll please … with a choice of a blue or white YES Network Sports Sprint T-shirt that you could sport at the beach or cut the sleeves off and wear it at the gym. We don’t mind … it will be your shirt.

After evaluating the submissions left in the Off the Wall comment box, here are the best nominees. Place your vote now:

Which nickname do you like best for the new Yankee Stadium?(answers)